Peace and blessings

Feeling completely frazzled and needing to step away from the reality of life for a moment last evening.

This is peace. Just to sit and soak it in.


I live near two lakes. Two. I'm truly blessed.

My girl and I watched this with tears in our eyes.
We spoke of what we have to be thankful for.
As many others in these trying times we have been struggling. There was a time when we foolishly threw our money around. It was spent with no second thoughts.
Today it's a compltely different story.

A year ago our goal was to move and provide for our children as well as ourselves a better way of life. We've found that life. I truly believe our life is more enriched and fulfilling than it has ever been.

In the process of this change....we had to adapt......
Jobs pay lower, insurance is not half as good, sometimes we may feel as if the weight of the world is upon our shoulders.
This is how I felt last evening. We are hungry. We are struggling. One child is ill.
My husbands birthday is here and I have nothing to offer him but my love.
Yesterday was difficult.

It's school time. Supplies, clothes, registration.............$$$$$$$$$$

Last night sleep seemed to elude me.
I settled my little guy down to sleep nearby, yet I myself could not shut off the thoughts, the worry, the questions........finally I fell asleep. I fell asleep only to have nightmares. Nightmares of losing my husband...my family.

I woke up this morning oddly refreshed and hopeful.

Yes perhaps my children will be forced to eat only food from my garden, as they should willingly do.
Yes maybe my husband can do without that morning coffee or three. It makes him grumpy anyhow :)
Yes just for the time being lets appreciate what we have. Focus on that.
No I cannot afford junk food, iced coffes, and fuel to cart my children around to all the places they "must" be. No I must pass by that lovely pair of rain boots I've had my eyes on for nearly a year.
Yes perhaps I should part with just a bit of my lovely fabric that I've been saving to make quilts for my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren.

As for the birthday boy. So what if we can't go camping on the coast as we planned. We have quite the camp spot right in our own backyard.
We have one another. Fourteen arms make a pretty amazing hug :)

Counting my blessings.




What we do have is LOVE

Driving and texting

I caught myself doing this.
That was the last time. I'm going to make sure I keep my cell phone in my pocket or bag when I drive.

Watch this
(WARNING it's GRAPHIC if you have little ones, have them run off and play for a bit.)

I've been in an auto accident with my children. It has changed my life.
I refuse to be in another one because of my own ignorance.
Please watch the movie and pass it on.

Remember the peaceful days when we didn't have cell phones :)

Herbs

The last few days I've been harvesting herbs.
I've found some wonderful ideas online about what to do with them.

I've harvested basil, bee balm, stevia, shiso, mint, oregano, feverfew, angelica, marshmallow, lemon balm, rasberry leaf, purslane (a weed?), chamomile,......

There are so many more I wish I had planted and I intend to do so.
Have you heard of Mountain Rose Herbs?
They are a supplier of bulk herbs if you are not able to grow your own and they provide a wealth of information as well.
Sand Mountain herbs is a great resource too.

I'm trying out their idea of infusing herbs with fresh honey.
I've been wanting to make my own teas for some time....perhaps for little care packages for loved ones.

My garden is doing wonderful regardless of the deer nibbling the tops off from a few plants :)

This fall I am toying with different ideas for a separate herb garden.
I was a bit ambitious this year with the garden and I've found I don't care much for weeding. This weather seems to be like Maui for weeds. They bask in it and glow with health. Makes me quite irritable, lol.

We gave away the two Jersey Giant roosters.
The fellows were just too darn big and wouldn't give the hens a break. Poor girls.

Now we have the two banty roosters. The little guy is a feisty one. He will chase you and peck at your toes. He's temporary as he belongs to my neice.

It's nearly t ime for school to start. I'm not ready. I enjoy having the companionship during the day. I'm going to miss them.
It is hard for me to imagine that one day I will have no children living at home.
Honestly I don't even want to think a bout it.

Bike rides have been lovely as of late. The path is surrounded by brambles or berry bushes and riding though them is nearly intoxicating.
Our house is surrounded as well. Sometimes I can hardly believe the scent is so strong. It's lovely. Reminds me of girlish desserts.
Back home is was the russian olive trees that made me drunk with memories.
I've been smelling the blooms on those trees since I was a girl. Sticky and not the prettiest trees, but their perfume could take you worlds away.

It's time to put in my winter garden. Would anyone like to volunteer to come pull weeds? No... I didn't think so.

We have been here now for nearly a year.
I'd like to do without the rain and the gray skies, but the moderate temperature has been glorious. Did I mention that my magnolia and crocus think it's spring again...yes I think I might have.

I've been quilting. Getting ready for winter.
This summer my favorite spot has been on my swing on the back porch . I think it will continue to be my favorite spot all through the year. Well.....as long as I can find a really big umbrella.

Off to blanch some beans.

Please forgive any mispellings or typos as I've been struggling this weeks with my arms :) You should read some of my texts...hahahaha

Basils


lettuce I let go to seed (before the deer ate it)


On a really bad day I stepped outside to this...and felt better.


A recent outing


One of the two deer who enjoy my buffet garden


Awe




The kiddos and I braving the humidty at Sahalie Falls


This is in the woods, near the falls

On love and potatoes

I was talking with a cousin I haven't seen in some time. He is not married and has no significant other....he has no children...no certain career, yet he is happy and in love with life. He lives for his nephews and nieces and thrives for the simple reason that he breathes and is able to enjoy this life he has been blessed with.
He tells me he feels complete.
I believe we are all different in what we may seek and what makes us complete is up to us. Marriage does not make you complete, nor does having children....a high paying job......a sports car and a fat wallet......
When your heart feels near to bursting and you could not imagine one thing in this world you need. When you love yourself exactly as you are.
I think perhaps then you are complete.

Lately I've been having strange dreams. Some nights they are nightmares about some traumatic events I survived....other nights I'm in the arms of old loves.

I remember my first boyfriend. I was eight and he was about eighteen.
He worked on the ranch and I remember sitting on the fence admiring him as he prodded the cattle on through the gate. I was just a little squirt to him....oh but it was love. Seriously now....I still love every man who has ever come into my life and held a special place in my heart.

I already knew this, but just today I thought on it for a bit and came to the conclusion that it is what it is and I accept it.
Loving comes easy to me. I don't know why and I don't want to question it anymore.
I love and that's who I am.


My daughter often tells me I need to toughen up. There are people who are unkind.
They say and do things that I would never do. My girlie tells me I should be this way in return. You know what? It's just not me.

When I was 16 years old I went through something no young girl should ever go through. But I'm ok and I forgave them long ago. That's how it has always been with me. I get through it and I move on.

Things in my life are not always as I would hope them to be...but I'm alive and I am so very blessed.
Tonight I'm not half as eloquent as I would like to be as I haven't slept well lately. (darn dreams) I do however have a point.

It's ok to forgive. Accept prople for who they are and that they are doing the best that they know how to do.

It doesn't help in any way to carry anger, regret, or wonder what could have..... should have..... would have been.



so....lets talk about what I've been harvesting
from my garden aka the local deer buffet.

Mustard Greens and breathing

I'm pretty sure that rather than easing into this new life.....I jumped in fully clothed. Think I may have put my family into shock.

I've been thinking and decided to slow it down a bit and take a breath now and then.
I cannot change the world, I cannot protect my family every second of the day, I cannot go on battling everything I feel stongly about every waking moment.

I'm going to slow it down just a bit and enjoy those simple things that were always just out of my grasp.


As for eating healthy that won't change :)
Last night I made mustard greens and they were absolutely delicious.
My kiddos even said they were "the best ever"

Here's what I did
Large bunch of greens
2 large cloves of garlic chopped
2 leeks from my garden
2 small shallots from my garden
2 small crookneck sqaush from my garden ;)
4 small green onions from my garden
salt
olive oil

Wash the greens well. Rip out the center stems.
Toss into a pan with the oil, add onions, leeks, shallots.
Cook about 5 minutes. Add garlic and squash, salt to taste. Cook a few minutes more.
The greens will be just that, bright green.
I tossed them into a pan with some pad thai rice noodles.
Amazing. YUM.

Now if my tomatoes would just ripen up ......

My friend took this pic a while back, lol...it just reminds me of how I feel about gas prices. My hubby refused to take a drive with me to Joanns yesterday for thread. The gas was much more than the thread.


Have a blessed day.