Friday, August 28, 2009

Peace and blessings

Feeling completely frazzled and needing to step away from the reality of life for a moment last evening.

This is peace. Just to sit and soak it in.

I live near two lakes. Two. I'm truly blessed.

My girl and I watched this with tears in our eyes.
We spoke of what we have to be thankful for.
As many others in these trying times we have been struggling. There was a time when we foolishly threw our money around. It was spent with no second thoughts.
Today it's a compltely different story.

A year ago our goal was to move and provide for our children as well as ourselves a better way of life. We've found that life. I truly believe our life is more enriched and fulfilling than it has ever been.

In the process of this change....we had to adapt......
Jobs pay lower, insurance is not half as good, sometimes we may feel as if the weight of the world is upon our shoulders.
This is how I felt last evening. We are hungry. We are struggling. One child is ill.
My husbands birthday is here and I have nothing to offer him but my love.
Yesterday was difficult.

It's school time. Supplies, clothes, registration.............$$$$$$$$$$

Last night sleep seemed to elude me.
I settled my little guy down to sleep nearby, yet I myself could not shut off the thoughts, the worry, the questions........finally I fell asleep. I fell asleep only to have nightmares. Nightmares of losing my family.

I woke up this morning oddly refreshed and hopeful.

Yes perhaps my children will be forced to eat only food from my garden, as they should willingly do.
Yes maybe my husband can do without that morning coffee or three. It makes him grumpy anyhow :)
Yes just for the time being lets appreciate what we have. Focus on that.
No I cannot afford junk food, iced coffes, and fuel to cart my children around to all the places they "must" be. No I must pass by that lovely pair of rain boots I've had my eyes on for nearly a year.
Yes perhaps I should part with just a bit of my lovely fabric that I've been saving to make quilts for my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren.

As for the birthday boy. So what if we can't go camping on the coast as we planned. We have quite the camp spot right in our own backyard.
We have one another. Fourteen arms make a pretty amazing hug :)

Counting my blessings.

What we do have is LOVE

1 comment:

  1. What a touching post. Thank you for sharing it. I feel that way sometimes, like I can't breathe I am so worried about stuff. But then, my kids do something simple and sweet and it, somehow, can wipe away some of the anxiety:) Hang in there!