Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A New Beginning

Lets get to the facts.
A young man who was quite close to a certain member of my family came out to our place and ended his life.
My husband found the young man as he came home from work.
Not one member of my family escaped the hurt and confusion.
It's been traumatic to say the least.
I cried myself to sleep for over a week. I sat with my child as she cried and asked me why. A question which I could never answer.
I walked into the woods screamed, cried, raised my face to the sky as it rained and asked the same questions myself....why?

Almost a month has passed now and life is just getting back to normal...."normal" as if there is such a thing.
My teenage daughter is now homeschooled.
We are leaving this place to move into a house in town.
I will say goodbye to my chickens and to this way of life.
However....I can garden anywhere.

Our new home is on the river and as I sit on the deck I can close my eyes and fall into a peaceful state of relaxation as the water finds a rhythm and my worries are forgotten for the moment.
I'm closer to the thrift stores.
My best friend lives only blocks away.
We can travel to the park, store, school,bowling alley etc...all within minutes and even on our bikes.
And finally.....we can get a FREE library card :)

oh.....and perhaps now I can step outside without thinking a cougar is peering at me through the trees just waiting to pounce and eat me for breakfast.

Yes indeed I am excited for this new life.


  1. I am glad that things are progressing and moving in a positive direction. I am glad that you will be closer. I am glad that we can meet for walks to the park in the summer. I am super glad for the free library card. I want to call, but I don't want to push. I know things are tough. Give me a call anytime, or send me a note and tell me to call... and I will! Also, I was home schooled during my high school years, so let me know if you need any help with resources, etc.

  2. I am sorry to hear about your loss Amy. I hope things go smoothly in your move to town.

  3. Amy... I am soo glad you're back! You have had a tough time lately and I know how hard it can be to climb back from unexplainable loss... with that being said... you did it and I'm quite sure you are a stronger person for yourself and family because of it! ( wink, wink )

    I hope you can stop by Port Angeles this month... I'm quite sure all of us there would like to give you a big hug and welcome you back into our little neurotic fabric nest! LOL

    XO, Heather

  4. There's nothing in the world that any person could/can say that will make things easier for you at this time. Unfortunately. I've had many people that I know and love end their lives and still I question things....it cannot be helped. But, it does make me stronger in my resolve to make my life better/easier/prettier/etc.

    I just found your blog - I'm very grateful that I did. If I were any where near you, I would ask to meet you and give you the biggest, warmest hug that a human being could give another. Do the same for your family. It's amazing how the littlest things said can make the biggest impact.

    Stay strong and come back let us know how things are going for you all. tlk

  5. oh amy I am so very sorry for your loss. I have not been up to date on reading blogs I am so so sorry. My cousin took his life a few years ago he was someone very close to me. I feel your pain and send you much love and hugs

  6. I just read your last couple of posts. Sending you some big love. My uncle took his life a few years ago and I think it is something you never forget, but move on from. My heart is breaking for you and your family. Inspired by your attitude and the move to town will be a nice change. Thinking of you and have fun exploring your new surroundings, especially the free library card and thrift shops! I brought the hoop you had made me to coffee with some friends today and have been thinking of you all day! She is so lovely!